Love Me Later

Okay
You are important to me, know that
But can you care when I come back?
Can you love me leaving
I mean
You do...know...that I'm leaving?
I hang my hat on the saddle
So even if you made a home
Of apple pies and and warm pillows
I'd still want...need...to travel
Until I get there, or her, or somewhere
Cuz the journey is my only destination
So long as I stop I'll never get there
And you'll stare into my mind
Hoping that my heart will get here
You really shoulda told me
You were holdin your air
I woulda come back at least
That's no fair
I may have been a rolling stone
But I ain't mean to roll over no one
So.. will you love me and let me go?
Or are there contracts that I should know?
It's just that some other bed
Is where I feel the most at home
Many others, any other
When I'm alone, I'm missin someone
But in comp'ny I'm losin somethin
And with you, I soon grow restless
Look, my house ain't where my heart is
So I won't be home
Just love me when I come back

Friends leave. I never feared it.
 After all, I prove it
Soon as the season changes I move it
At least we had the appearance
But it's not leaving the worries me
It's not from spite that I ask
Will you love me when I come back
Or reject me upon returning?

Bare Walls

It's like this soul wrenching sickness
That only I and I alone witness
Disturbing and turning
Flipping and tossing
Demanding and bossy
Matter of emotion that I tend to get lost in
Drowning
Can't seem to keep afloat
When my mind sets on its 'back down memory lane' boat

Thoughts of you become gripping
Here comes that sickness
Hurling vomit, trying to throw you up
Its Toxic
Demonic
Platonic you now wanna call it
So different from names called out under cotton
Between sweat and gritted teeth while our bodies beyond cordially meet.

So no that means nothing?
Meant nothing were strolls
Our time spent day tripping
Playing hookie-where I called into work sick
Now I'm just sick to death with the prolonging thought of you
And all I wish I knew then what I discovered now
Like giving me a child, then requesting it be taken out!
Torn from my loins. Left shattered and empty
No you to come get me-fix me. Said you would be there with me

Left to heal myself with nothing
Just lingering words you gave me
Empty promises
Unfulfilled I love you's
Who the fuck are you?
Don't know you
Wish I never met you
FUCK YOU!
But Damn I still love you

You who feels nothing
Cold
Uprooted your soul and planted it on another continent's soil
Can't seem to find an answer to why.
Lay awake trying to put together the puzzle
But pieces seem missing.
You took them
I lost them-misplaced them
Nothing makes sense.

Mind contorted
I never saw this coming
Falling in love with the enemy
A thief.
Con-artist.
A foul, silly man-destined to live his life heartless

Anti-love

Mr. T.V. I can’t love you

I cannot slowly walk with you, hand and hand into a pixilated sunset

Or squeeze scripted sands betwixt my toes

 Can’t nuzzle my nose on your flat screen

Can’t “I do” with your antenna so afterward we can have reception

Honeymoon without interruption

Mr. T.V.  I just can’t love you

©Brion Gill 2013

(To be continued...)

The Arrival (3.12.90)

How could she miss him?
Him striding with grace
Her scooting along, a confused look on her face
He focused
Her unsure
Him taking the steps
She searched for the door
No welcome awaited, her presence undetected
He glided with urgency, as if highly expected
Just as she entered
No smile on her chin
The voices within called out to him
"Wait!"
"Don't leave yet."
"Your child is alive!"
But Robert departed
the day his daughter arrived

I'll Be Late For That

Im late

For (almost) every date

They say hurry

I tell them don’t wait

My professor says I’ll miss my own funeral

If I did that’d be great.

Black Girl Pain (Senryu)

She's Black as coal and
Like a dreaded Christmas gifts.
She feels unwanted.

There Are No Absolute Truths (I Am)

My reality is flexible
Ready to bend and sway at my command
It is not fixed, but variable
alterable
impermanent.
So I may very well say
I am the Queen
of the word
of the world
of the Damned
and so it shall be.
Ashe.