I'm already here
Feet planted uncertainly on the doorstep of fate and heartfelt desires
My toes tapping out inconsistent "thrum-thrums" of hope
My nerves are shot and
I jumped the gun too fast
For my good sense to hit the
stop
watch
...or even try to catch up
I was FloJo jetting down all five lanes
Tracking love notes down the life track
at lightspeed
crossing lines (smh)
I was already gone
and the crowd was cheering me on
Gone so I couldn't see the scorecards
Flying before all the facts could be unearthed and ground me
I knew I was long gone when I held back tears after I realized that there was no one with whom you shared these intimate parts of
you like me (?)
...so I set out to find you here
at this house I built from my devotion
Only to find you watching me from afar
Sorry for neglecting to inform me
Neglecting to feel sorry for regretting me
That when I arrived you would be long gone
And my heart
My breath
All my confidential pieces...
You still have yet to return
I feel this. I see a person rushing into something thinking nothing of it...only that they are moving fast because they have the support of others. Nothing else matters because you're running your race. The signs are there, but eff the signs. Your just so sure that when yoi make it to your destination you will get your due...bc you put in so much work. I can go on about this for days this was deep
ReplyDeleteI inadvertently got wrapped up in the imagery and forgot I was an outsider. I really felt like I was running with you, and felt your disappointment. I FELT. This is a read and re-read type of piece. So I shall. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteAnshi....why didnt you ever tell me you were such an AMAZING writer?
ReplyDeleteI haven't really written anything, poetry or otherwise in years. I'm just trying to get my weight back up. :) Thanks for the encouragement Bri!
DeleteYeah...*sigh* I had to shake some things off with this one. Thanks family!
ReplyDelete