Love Me Later

Okay
You are important to me, know that
But can you care when I come back?
Can you love me leaving
I mean
You do...know...that I'm leaving?
I hang my hat on the saddle
So even if you made a home
Of apple pies and and warm pillows
I'd still want...need...to travel
Until I get there, or her, or somewhere
Cuz the journey is my only destination
So long as I stop I'll never get there
And you'll stare into my mind
Hoping that my heart will get here
You really shoulda told me
You were holdin your air
I woulda come back at least
That's no fair
I may have been a rolling stone
But I ain't mean to roll over no one
So.. will you love me and let me go?
Or are there contracts that I should know?
It's just that some other bed
Is where I feel the most at home
Many others, any other
When I'm alone, I'm missin someone
But in comp'ny I'm losin somethin
And with you, I soon grow restless
Look, my house ain't where my heart is
So I won't be home
Just love me when I come back

Friends leave. I never feared it.
 After all, I prove it
Soon as the season changes I move it
At least we had the appearance
But it's not leaving the worries me
It's not from spite that I ask
Will you love me when I come back
Or reject me upon returning?

Bare Walls

It's like this soul wrenching sickness
That only I and I alone witness
Disturbing and turning
Flipping and tossing
Demanding and bossy
Matter of emotion that I tend to get lost in
Drowning
Can't seem to keep afloat
When my mind sets on its 'back down memory lane' boat

Thoughts of you become gripping
Here comes that sickness
Hurling vomit, trying to throw you up
Its Toxic
Demonic
Platonic you now wanna call it
So different from names called out under cotton
Between sweat and gritted teeth while our bodies beyond cordially meet.

So no that means nothing?
Meant nothing were strolls
Our time spent day tripping
Playing hookie-where I called into work sick
Now I'm just sick to death with the prolonging thought of you
And all I wish I knew then what I discovered now
Like giving me a child, then requesting it be taken out!
Torn from my loins. Left shattered and empty
No you to come get me-fix me. Said you would be there with me

Left to heal myself with nothing
Just lingering words you gave me
Empty promises
Unfulfilled I love you's
Who the fuck are you?
Don't know you
Wish I never met you
FUCK YOU!
But Damn I still love you

You who feels nothing
Cold
Uprooted your soul and planted it on another continent's soil
Can't seem to find an answer to why.
Lay awake trying to put together the puzzle
But pieces seem missing.
You took them
I lost them-misplaced them
Nothing makes sense.

Mind contorted
I never saw this coming
Falling in love with the enemy
A thief.
Con-artist.
A foul, silly man-destined to live his life heartless

Anti-love

Mr. T.V. I can’t love you

I cannot slowly walk with you, hand and hand into a pixilated sunset

Or squeeze scripted sands betwixt my toes

 Can’t nuzzle my nose on your flat screen

Can’t “I do” with your antenna so afterward we can have reception

Honeymoon without interruption

Mr. T.V.  I just can’t love you

©Brion Gill 2013

(To be continued...)

The Arrival (3.12.90)

How could she miss him?
Him striding with grace
Her scooting along, a confused look on her face
He focused
Her unsure
Him taking the steps
She searched for the door
No welcome awaited, her presence undetected
He glided with urgency, as if highly expected
Just as she entered
No smile on her chin
The voices within called out to him
"Wait!"
"Don't leave yet."
"Your child is alive!"
But Robert departed
the day his daughter arrived

I'll Be Late For That

Im late

For (almost) every date

They say hurry

I tell them don’t wait

My professor says I’ll miss my own funeral

If I did that’d be great.

Black Girl Pain (Senryu)

She's Black as coal and
Like a dreaded Christmas gifts.
She feels unwanted.

There Are No Absolute Truths (I Am)

My reality is flexible
Ready to bend and sway at my command
It is not fixed, but variable
alterable
impermanent.
So I may very well say
I am the Queen
of the word
of the world
of the Damned
and so it shall be.
Ashe.

Expression Express

All aboard!

Please have your hearts ready

For the captain to check

First stop, Infatuation

We'll take a pit stop in Dreams

Capital city of Ambition

We'll pick up more passengers

as we ride through Lonely

and switch trains at Disappointment

Please put your baggage in the overhead compartments

Or underneath the car

You'll have to take it with you at every stop

So you should have packed lightly

Final stop in Happy

Everyone is encouraged to get off there.

Preposterous Possibilities

Could you really be in love with

The one thing you swore

You never liked?

Be absolutely enamored with

the object of your aversion?

How will the life you've imagined

change

now that one of the puzzle pieces

Has taken on a new form?

Is it possible to scrap the finished project

In the middle of the show?

On feelings (no prompt)

Ever have a feeling you didn’t know what to do with?
It’s like finding extra change in your pocket.
Not enough to buy anything
but enough to make you wonder where it should go
You could save it
maybe add to it
until it’s really worth something
Or you could give it away
Tip your waiter a little extra
Or make a sidewalk musician’s day
Hello sir, would you like some infatuation today?
Here’s a little “what-if” for your troubles
Maybe you can use it better than I can
How about some loneliness?
I've got plenty to spare
There's no dresser jar
pants pocket
piggy bank
for feelings.

(infested)

crawling thoughts

burrow into sections of brain

snacking on synapses

nesting on nerves

breeding bad dreams

how do you

exterminate

a pest that only plays while you sleep?

Astro-logic (Comparison)

She

was half human

half beast.

Kissed by Lady Luck at birth.

Truth dancing on her tongue

She shoots for stars not yet seen

---

He

was a

born leader

who dared to do what others wouldn't

Gentle, passionate lover

Brilliant and fearless

---

Dreaming of freedom

Intrigued by adventure

Independence

Pushing limits

They

were a firestorm

She's No Atlas (Broke Poem)

Arms outstretched

Shoulders wide

Back braced

She prepared herself for the world she always wanted

Hoisted her values

accomplishments

integrity

like a knapsack

She lifted them out one by one

Trading them in for her heart's desires

Earthly pleasures

Piled on the fruits of her labor

Never minding the depleting foundation

Wondering why her world suddenly became

So hard to carry

Insisting on progress

No rest

Knees buckling

Arms trembling

She finally

Broke

Haiku (Suffering Poem)

Facades feign courage
Disintegrating inside
Brave souls ache sometimes.

Arithnatic

A poem don't add up to lyrics
If you doubt it, then go ask the limericks
Add rhyming line here,
multiply FUCK there
You don't win a slam with just lyrics

In Case of flirting

In case you catch those eyes that have been starring for 10 consecutive minutes

Don’t smile

Don’t wait a while and slyly turn your head to bat your lids

Don’t twirl your hair

Or fidget in your chair

Act as if you didn’t notice him

Because your mental space is occupied by the image of your lovers face

Note: this only works if your partner has worth

Otherwise you’ve already strategically walked by switching harder than angry drivers in traffic

Opening opportunities for said admirer to inquire bout what your name be

Or maybe you’ve flashed your dimples moved your bag from the other empty stool

An invitation simple enough for a fool

Now car rides, conversations, bed acquaintances and lonely moments siting up waiting later…..

You wonder,, why you didn’t just resist

Oh how that past relationship shall be missed

The things we give for a taste of evanescent bitter bliss.

©Brion Gill 2013

Express Lane

Rubber rolling on smooth tarred gravel

Swerving around brake lights and threatening to rear-end those within the limits

Pressuring pedals on yellow

Anticipating green

Searching for a short cut ‘round vertical corporate ladders

Grasping hand held devices designed to make communication and knowledge consumption better

Hash tag trendsetter

Fingers tinkering on touchtone screens

reflexively stepping over exposed toes protruding from leather worn down from year of struggling against unyielding sidewalks

head tucked in emailed memos

methodically ordering a caramel macchiato

Bagel…toasted

Blindly bopping back down inert streets

Death to the heart beat lying on the bleak concrete

Ipod buds stuffed in

The vigor of the world vanishes

Like sideline scenery, observed from a car window, speedometer 120

Flowers become scentless whirls of color

People mere specs of sound that hover above the whistle of the wind

And life, nothing more than a passing moment.

©Brion Gill 2013

Day Eight: Instructional (Safety First...)

1. Commit to this program.

2.
Never
Ever
Let anyone in.

Ever.

3. Barricade that threshold to your being with oak boards and ebony panels that would give
Sampson nightmares of remembrance amidst his reverberations of understanding.

4. Shellac them till they shine with the goopy slime that was once your bleeding heart.
Let the sun blaze it to a blinding finish till Christ hangs his head because
he taught us all better than this but he lived it better than we ever could.

5. Scale this monument to your pain with your bare hands and burst in through the ceiling.
Paint target rings around the hole above you and practice your rock throwing.
Take comfort in knowing that anyone who missed the message at the door
is too foolish or too late to deserve your pity.

6. Curl your lips and hurl hurts freely.
Be fearsome. Be fearless.
Brush your teeth with your sword for the health of your razor tongue
Hide your gums
bloody from hurting words.
But stay strong and steadfast.
There are savages out there.

7. When the stars come
Resist the promise in their wishes.
When the rain comes
Reject the healing waters of redemption.
Curse the new day
and the born again passage of time.
Remain crystalized
hardened. fossilized
frozen. calloused.
petrified.
Do
not
move.

Stick to the plan.

(Instructions for loneliness sold separately)

Day Seven: Schizophrenia (Night of the Mind)

The murmur of voices
gurguling. Furiously colliding
Contending for the rights
To this oasis built for One.

One lay pinned down

Under the pressured current of voices

Sound rivers born from reservoirs of tension

Flowing from burning eyes 

Soaking the bed shrouded in mourning

They could not yet decide
If they would let her believe that she
was worthy of pain

or impatient for relief

or ready to be removed from suffering

Or fully responsible for her guilt

So they contended

and crashed

and gurgled and spit

They tore at her hope stained heart

spread their cloudy wings and 

shadowed everything with decline

As she 

           sloped into

                            her personal darkness

Her precious life garden now wilting

worm ridden optimism

decaying faith

brown spotted courage

She drooped with the pain of

promise unbloomed

as they continued to bid on her

ruins

One rose to greet her reflection
Saw them there dancing
Removed her suffering image
and smashed it

Stomped jubilantly on her shards
Then rummaged through the bloody mess
Trying to find the joy peace-is

The Impossibles (prompt: impossible/possible)

We are the “impossibles”

The mindless

Civilization-less

Country-less

Religion-less

History-less

Legacy-less

People.

Broken, stolen, ravaged, perverted, deserted, converted…

The unforgettable, forgotten

The powerful, powerless

The entrepreneurs without institutions

Yes we are the impossible

The “how did you make it this far”

The survivors

The mysteries

The children of generations who told us what we couldn’t be

The students of teachers who would have us believe our dreams are impossible fantasies

But such is our very family tree

There is nothing I can’t achieve

Because I am a walking impossible

So POSSIBLE is my destiny!

©Brion Gill 2013

She Moves (Sonnet)

She Moves (Sonnet)

Her body bends to the melody like branches in the wind

Swaying in chord

Back erect and stiff like wooden boards

She stares into the next move

Fruitioning her fluidity

Her feet slide across the floor like a summer breeze in kitchens when screen doors are left ajar

Her hair spins in pirouettes like the top of jars

Have you ever seen the little dipper?

Bet its nothing like the star constellation in her pupils

Dressed in black leotard

She’s a leaping galaxy

Her mind flowing and free in a gallant kaleidoscope of color

Her routine reaches a climax at the music’s crescendo and from her brow sweat pours

Now her heart demands an encore.

©Brion Gill 2013